About Me

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I'm a mother of four grandmother of seven and great grandmother of one. I have many hobbies and interests but gardening and rug hooking are my main interest at the moment. I live with my husband in the house that we built with the help of my brothers and have been married for 51years.

Monday, August 4, 2014

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SHOULD AND COULD IS A CONSCIOUS CHOICE



I been rather busy and I seem to get tired easier lately. Well busy is usual for me but tired is rather unsettling... So much so that I sit at the computer to check blogs with the intention of posting on my blog but by the time I'm through posting comments on those blogs who faithfully leave comments  on mine, I'm too tired to even bother. I think that I should post and I should comment on everyone 's post and I feel guilty when I don't.  Should do this and should do that seems to be my mantra these days.
My plans also seems to get side tracked by others demands or needs.

I could feel more at peace with myself and the world if I didn't feel that I should do these things.... So I'm making a conscious decision to make a choice. Instead of thinking that I should, I'll be thinking that I could. This gives me a choice of what I can do freely. I'm sure that I would feel a whole lot less guilty.
So no more should and more could. I'm starting to feel like that little engine that said, I think I can, I think I can, or in my case, I think I could, I think I could. But what about feeding the calves? I have to... Where's the could in that? lol...

How about you, do you often feel that you should do something and then feel guilty because you are just either too busy or tired to do what you had intended to do?

Today is a Civic Holiday and for us it's New Brunswick Day. So Happy New Brunswick Day to my New Brunswick friend.

JB

33 comments:

  1. Sometimes I feel like that. I think we all should come first with bloggers. You post when you get time. I have joined so many things. Then I try to catch up. I have to learn nice to join sites but also one needs family comes first. If not. It would give you guilt city every day.

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  2. awww. you are one of the most faithful blog readers and commenters i know! and yet, you only post now and then. where's the guilt supposed to lie in that!? on those of us you favor with your readership and presence. :)

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  3. I know how you feel, I also feel guilty if I don't reply to every comment or don't leave comment on other blogs but if it becomes a chore then its not worth doing is it?, so I have to get my sensible head out and just do some and leave others.
    As for tiredness, I think maybe its an age thing. We both get very tired, some days more than others. I guess we just have to accept that we're not young any more but its not easy.
    Briony
    x

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  4. No pressures in the land of blog. You need a cup of tea and a rest, dear Julia. I heard someone say once (I forget who, of course) that we should never SHOULD on ourselves.
    I try to catch myself when I am thinking about doing things, things I think I should do, and then never end up doing. If I'm not going to do something, I try not to over-think it. We aren't very patient with ourselves when we are tired. We think we can shake it off and SHOULD shake it off. When I can't think straight, I know I need a rest.
    Take care, good girl.

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  5. I think it's a "woman thing" to always think we "should be doing for others".... it's difficult to find a balance of should and could... but, I try with putting aside at least an hour a day for the "could do something for me"... that keeps me happier when doing the shoulds for others! lol! hope that makes sense... ;-)

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  6. Enjoy your blog, but please no guilt. Taking care of yourself (and your family and animals) should always be first!

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  7. Happy New Brunswick Day to you!

    Sometimes we are apt to have unrealistic expectations of ourselves. Do what is necessary and what you enjoy. No worries about other things!

    Hoping you had a good week-end! My high school 50 year was six years ago!

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  8. There should be no guilt here. We blog because we enjoy it. If it isn't enjoyable and becomes a chore, it's no good. It's unreasonable to expect yourself to comment on every blog, every time, especially if you read a lot of them like I do. I try to comment as often as possible, but sometimes I just read.
    Yes, I feel bad that I don't always comment because many of the bloggers have become friends.
    Please don't feel you SHOULD, Julia! I think all of us understand BUSY and tired at the end of the day. You are more loyal to commenting than most of us. Do it when you feel like you want to. We know your heart is here.

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  9. Hello my sweet friend...I made a conscious decision recently to not feel guilty when it comes to blogging. There are not enough hours in the day...or energy in this body of mine to do it all. Family has to come first for me. I've slacked off from posting and commenting these days because I've just had so much else to do.You have a farm to help run! Post...comment...when you can....when you have the energy...we'll be here.
    Robyn

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  10. Yes, as I've told you many times.. my blog post isn't complete without a comment from you. AND I know it gets to be a chore. I haven't posted as I used to. I just don't want to any longer.

    When it becomes a chore rather than a fun thing to do … hissonit… I never have understood how you've had time to do all that you do much less read blogs and leave caring comments. You don't scan… you really read.

    I haven't read many blogs lately because I'm just simply too occupied with other stuff. I'll always click on an update from you … ;)

    I say … do what y'want… what makes you smile … you're going to have visitors soon … be with them and get back to your blog pals when you can … that's what I say … ;)

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  11. You are one of the most prolific "comment leavers" and it is always good to hear from you, but I just don't know how you get done all you do. Try not to feel guilty! I know it's hard but as I've said before, you are the busiest hooker I know {grin}.
    Hugs :)
    Lauren

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  12. I feel the same way, Julia! I haven't been nearly as faithful as I "should" be lately either. Life just gets in the way sometimes, and we do what we have to do! You have been a faithful commenter...no guilt necessary! :)

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  13. To me, blogging should never seem obligatory. We get busy and sometimes we just don't have time to visit our fellow bloggers! We adore you Julia!!

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  14. One of my blog friends has a wise statement on her sidebar:

    "Blogging Without Obligation"

    She is very busy and only posts occasionally when she has time. She REALLY doesn't have time to read and comment on others' blogs. So her statement lets people know she's not feeling guilty when she can't return others' comments. I think she's a very smart lady!

    So...no guilt necessary, my friend!

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  15. Dear Julia,
    You always think of others, all of the time. I love when you post, I love when you visit and leave comments. I am so thankful for your friendship. You work harder than anyone I know. Blogging is work. It is good work but still work. Sometimes life just comes first. I guess I would say, do what you love, do what you want and no matter what take the guilt out. I know most of the time I am driven by what I should do, but rest and let what happens happen.

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  16. It is always wonderful to hear from you.
    Sometimes I feel like I am talking into thin air and then you comment and I feel better.
    Ah...coulda, woulda, shoulda ... we are always so hard on ourselves.
    Relax, enjoy and comment if you are so led but otherwise no guilt!

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  17. Hi Julia, summer heat and a million things to do make it hard to blog sometimes. Be good to yourself and know that part of writing is having something to say when you feel the need to express yourself . Chill and no pressure with blogging all the time . We will still be here! Hugs cheri

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  18. Julia- my best intentions regarding my blog often do come up short-- especially during busy times. I've learned to just let it go--- case in point--- I'm so late returning your visit!!

    I've learned that I just can't do it all-- so choices have to be made. Somehow-- it all seems to work out in it's own time.

    Love
    Vicki

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  19. I've been blogging a lot less this year than in the past. I find that getting it all done doesn't always work! I try to visit my blog buddies as often as possible and yours is always on my list. But if I miss a post or two I just have to let it go and get back when I can. The same goes for you. It's OK to read and not comment every time or to rest and come back later. Hey, the door is always open around here! Just get some rest and take good care of yourself!

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  20. Julia, it is always a pleasure to read your blog!
    I understand where you're coming from regarding should/could and reading/responding to blogs. Sometimes I feel that I won't ever catch up with comments. I try to read blogs and post comments, just do a few at a time.... in the best laid plans. When you're tired, take care of yourself first, please. Hopefully reading some blog posts brings a smile or two to you. Just like others have mentioned, it is about choices and you have to be able to enjoy yourself!

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  21. WoW Julia, you do get a lot of comments on your blog. My situation is the opposite since I have very few readers or comments. I recently retired and have decided to come back and write and read other blogs. I enjoyed reading this post. I found you via Pom Pom who lists you on her page. Take good care of yourself.

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  22. My dad had a saying: Do the best you can do and let the rough end drag.
    That's what I try to do and in the end, that's all anyone could expect of you.

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  23. Sweet Julia as far is feeling tired I can understand that...at the moment I know no other lady who works harder than you do. So how can you not be tired by days end. Blogging should be fun and not something to make us feel guilty. I think most bloggers understand that it is not always possible to make it around to comment on all the blogs that we follow or that follow ours. I used to feel guilty about not getting around to all the blogs but finally realized blogging was becoming a chore and not fun like it once was. Now I post when I can and visit and comment when I can and now it is enjoyable again. I guarantee you that you will still have followers and readers if you make it around to other blogs or not. You have a very interesting blog. I will be with you no matter what. Just blog when you can and visit other blogs as you can and not worry about the rest. Love and hugs!

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  24. Julia, no wonder you are tired Girl! The flowers are lovely but
    require so much work. And you make your own ricotta cheese!
    I can only work an hour or two outside in the morning because
    the heat just takes a lot out of you. Then I go inside, shower
    and do the "lady" work. Do you have help? You're doing just
    fine. Enjoyed the walk through your garden. The other Julia

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  25. You are wise and wonderful. I love this post. Amen! Hugs.

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  26. That's a great way of looking at it!!! I don't know why I always feel like I'm letting someone down, no matter how hard I work. So much to do and only one of me. Even when I'm on top of my work assignments, I feel like I'm not spending enough time with family. Guilt is a draining emotion.

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  27. I've been meaning to post all week and never did. Tonight it's raining and a grabbed a glass of wine and wrote a post

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  28. Julia, do what you want to do and what you are able to do and don't worry about the rest! Stop and smell those beautiful flowers of yours! Thanks for reading my blog and for posting a comment, but please don't feel you have to! Have fun at the lake with your family. I'm going to be up in your neck of the woods soon, driving through on our way to Nova Scotia. Can't wait! Happy August. Sarah

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  29. I agree, Julia, it does seem that people are on blogger less - me included. I've been so busy that when I do have time to sit down and blog I'm too tired to make sense! LOL! I had big plans once I retired to blog daily - as you can see that didn't happen. I do pop in and your blog and everyone else's blog but I just never seem to get a chance to comment... :( Your flowers are beautiful! I love when you post pictures of all your landscaping! Take care, Char

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  30. bravo to you.....so brilliant and beautiful
    to choose what you could rather than be
    driven by shoulds:)
    cheers to fresh energy and healthy choices,
    Jennifer

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  31. Julia there's only so much one person can do! And your living the life of several persons in your own life! I know there's 'me, myself, & I' but at the end of the day you need to feel fulfilled. Your usually the only one that talks to me in my posts & I really appreciate that but with that being said I know I'm just one of your many blogging friends. I enjoying visiting you through your blog & I'm amazed at all the wonderful comments you receive! I'll never forget reading one of my first connections to your blog about you falling out of the surprise birthday cake, I've never laughed so hard! I even made it a point to show my husband, he too thought it to be hilarious. And all your adventures on the farm, yes feeding those calves included. You make me laugh, cry, & just feel, through your writings. Stop being so hard on yourself, I sound like my husband when he talks to me! Stating I'm my own worse enemy! Take time to do whatever it is that puts a smile on your face at the end of the day! Tight hugs, Cynthia

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  32. I hate that feeling. There is nothing I could do to get rid of it, but I should have organized my schedule better :)

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