About Me

My photo
I'm a mother of four grandmother of seven and great grandmother of three. I live with my husband in the house that we built with the help of my brothers and will have been married for 57 years this February.

Thursday, November 14, 2019


 Time is flying fast and  I'm spending time on spirituality studying online from an approved Catholic site so I'm having less time on Blogger. Wow, I can't believe we are already almost halfway into November already. That's what happens when we are too much taken by the things of this world.

I am working on my Catholic faith spirituality instead and spending much less time Blogger. Life is good at home and I'm happy and it has remained this way since the burning of my New Age books episode. What a huge improvement in our relationship and also with father and son relationship.
I've been crocheting and I'm on baby blanket #5. I'm enjoying it so much, maybe, too much...

I have a small rug in mind that I want to do but haven't done anything about it yet and I'll tell you why. Just bear with me...

Way back, 19 years ago, I was going through the St Ignatius Spiritual Exercises and doing an hour of prayer, contemplation, meditation every day. Every two weeks, I wrote a review of what stood out for me in my daily journal, I glanced out the window of my bedroom on the second floor and saw a figure in the branches and leaves on a tree across the road, somewhat like we sometimes see figures in the clouds.

I'm visual and I have difficulty imagining with my mind but I can easily see faces everywhere there is a bit of pattern. It was Sept 22, 2000, so I'm sure there were still leaves on the trees across the road in front of our house. I looked up and saw the face of the crucified Jesus in the pattern of the branches and leaves with the blue sky in the background. It was very distinct and I was in awe of what I saw.

I can copy somewhat if I have a picture and so I quickly grabbed a small piece of paper on my little prayer table and sketched the picture as I saw it. I kept looking up and down until I was finished.  I was in such consolation that day. When I was finished, I looked up once more and it was gone. No amount of looking and searching could bring me back what I saw in the branches and leaves. I could not see it again...

I pasted the tiny sketch in my journal and after a while, I forgot all about it until this past summer when I went to look for it, I could not find the place where it was in the journals.  I searched for quite a while.
I went through all the 24 hardcover volumes of 192 pages each and could not find the page where I had attached the tiny 1 1/2 x 2 1/4 inch piece of paper drawing of Jesus' head.
Several days later, I went back and tried to find it again, with the same result.

By now, I was thinking I had only dreamt about it so I asked my husband if he remembered that I had sketched the face of the crucified Jesus or if I had perhaps just dreamt about it.  He said yes he remembered that I showed him the little sketch of Jesus' face crucified.

I figured, the evil one wouldn't let me find it so I prayed to St Anthony of Padua the Patron Saint of lost objects, and went to look for it again, lo and behold, in no time I found it in the 3rd volume, page 28. I hadn't noticed before that the head was not down and sideways like on the crucifix but tilted upward and Jesus seemed to be at peace. This got me to wonder why was it this way since it was the crucified Jesus. Why was He not like on the crucifix with his head tilted down?


Last week as I was praying the Rosary on my knees with my husband before bedtime, as we have been doing every night together since the burning of my New Age books episode, I was having difficulty staying focused. So I tried to imagine Michaelangelo's Pieta, where Mary is holding Jesus in her arms after He was taken down from the cross. I continued praying the Rosary.

When I got to the part of " Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of death, Amen".  I saw vividly in full color in my imagination, Mary, full size,  holding her bloody son Jesus.  Mary looked so sad, and Jesus had his head tilted back, her hands were covered with blood as were her clothes. I got totally overtaken with grief and such sadness and I started sobbing so hard that I couldn't even speak. My eyes got all puffy and red. After that, I was able to focus well on the words of the prayer,  but I was still sobbing. In my mind, I only saw her for a very brief moment but it was so powerful. It has only happened once and I know it was a grace that I received from Mary as she is full of grace, like the archangel Gabriel addressed her at the visitation, Hail Mary full of grace, blessed are you among all women... Our Heavenly Mother Mary is very alive and not dead, as one of my friends claims that she is dead.

Several weeks ago, I took a photo of my tiny sketch and put it on my computer screen and printed it on a full page.
I will eventually get it enlarged a bit more for my rug pattern. I have no idea how I will go about hooking it yet. Like I said, it will be an inspired rug.

I'm sure that some, although not all,  will shake their heads at my post like some did on my New Age post as religion and politic are tabooed subjects, but as I'm getting older, after all, I'll be turning 73 before the end of November, then so be it. I have thick skin and I won't take it personally, I promise... It's better to have faith than none at all... And I do respect other religions.

I'm not ashamed or afraid to profess my faith openly, with those who read my blog, with those who call me friend and with those who follow me on my blog.  After all, it's my choice even though, I still don't expect everyone to agree with me but I'm just being true to myself.

Jesus says, in Luke 9:26 Those who are ashamed of me and my words, of them the son of man, will be ashamed when he comes in his glory and of the holy angels. Those are Jesus' words and I believe in Him.

For those who read my whole post to the finish, and to those who left a comment, thank you. I respect your views but I may add my own comments for clarification if I feel it's needed.
Stay warm and safe.
Hugs, Julia


  1. Julia I do respect your faith and I also respect how you choose to honor that faith. We do not all have to agree to be friends.

  2. I don't know all the particulars of crucifixion, but your sketch of Jesus, looking upward at tremendous operations of a universe that creates us all, is deeply moving to me. To become Christ, the sacramental encounter with the spirit of God, may certainly have been on his mind. I hope his influence, and that of luminaries of all faiths can make us prefer peace on Earth.

  3. I have been away from blogging for a while, being busy working away from home now, and still struggling to find my schedule among the business of life! I'm glad you are spending time pursuing your faith, along with your hubby it looks like! I'm going to go back and search for the post about when you burned your new age books. Somehow I missed that. If I don't "see" you before, I hope you stay warm up north this winter! :)

  4. I often wonder if other species have faith as we humans do. Do mosquitos, worms, ducks, elephants, tigers, bears and lions, birds, bacteria, the smallest of cell life think there is a creator? I am Native American and respect all living things i.e. plants, animals, mother earth, stars, and our very own universe. Somewhere along a long line of life creation, we humans were given intelligence...why? That is the question. Some plants and animals also have the some intelligence and we humans sometimes abuse them i.e. cuts trees for gain, kill animals for sport, kick and abuse our pets. Humans are the worst being on this earth. We need to think about that and smarten up to respect all living things including mother earth, our environment, our heavenly space that we are trashing now with satellites and other junk. In the future, our decedents might see firing junk raining down on earth after our cool clouds and rain have been depleted. I pray for all this and not just myself and to do what I can in the smallest of ways to help keep harmony. Thank you for opening our eyes to not take things for granted.

    1. P.S. I think, this man, Jesus was trying to tell humans the same thing back in the day when things were very chaotic with slavery and an empire gone wrong. He was a rebel with a cause.

  5. I have a lot of respect for honest people that speak their heart! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences of your faith...sometimes we all just need to slow down and "tune in" to the beauty and guidance that surrounds us.

  6. Great post. Will have to read back about your burning of the books. Look forward to seeing your adaptation of Jesus as a rug. Janice

  7. Hi Friend,
    I recently visited Holy Hill
    I was deeply moved during my time visiting. The walk to the cross is very moving.
    Thank you for sharing your story about the drawing and that you found it.
    Keep in touch,

  8. I'm assuming you don't do the Facebook thing but your post hit home for me. Last week I posted a picture of Mary holding the baby Jesus and kissing his head. The picture next to it had Mary holding the crucified Savior and kissing his head. I felt it was quite moving. Never be ashamed of testifying your faith. I was raised Catholic but now I'm Mormon but when I go home Jack and I always go to Mass with my Mom and sister. I don't doubt what you saw and I'm impressed with your artistic ability. I hope you also paint or draw as well as knit! You have a God given talent and I'm sure your rug will be beautiful. Have a great weekend.

    1. What I saw was in my imagination but although it was very brief, it was so powerful, enough to move me to me to deep sobbing.
      I'm am not an emotional person as a rule but this was definitely a grace I received.

  9. Your religion is so important to you and I respect your thoughts.
    Good luck designing your rug.

  10. I love how our vision becomes crisper as we get older - we see so much more vividly what we want and believe and choose. It's a beautiful thing growing into our faith and purpose.
    Thanks for sharing, Julia.
    - Jennifer

  11. Thank you for sharing, Julia. I'm glad you burned your new age books.
    God loves us so much and we love HIM!

  12. I'm astonished and awed by your vision! You saw Jesus in the things of his Earth - Emmanuel- God is with us! How amazing that you couldn't find the sketch and then you found it again!
    I'm glad of your comfort and of knowing and fervently knowing that Mary is alive and she will be with us as God will be with us in heaven. Your clarity of sharing your faith is beautiful! I apologise for not having made it over here to see your blog. My computer died and I can only get onto my husband's computer when he lets me and I've had several busy weeks so I have had to hurry on quickly to post.

  13. P.S I too burnt a new age book. I bought in a charity shop thinking it was a Christian book but I read about it in an actual Christian book that it was a new age self help that was trying to trick you into believing God is actually you speaking!

  14. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.